The Elastic Christian
July 19, 2007
Last modified June 20, 2010
The Foundation
I have endeavoured my whole life to be a devoted follower of Jesus Christ. This has meant holding fast to Biblical teachings, and reaching out to others in kindness and faithfulness. It has also meant re-evaluating the specifics of what I believe in light of things that I learn throughout the course of my life. I have found it necessary to alter my positions on a number of issues over the years, as my understanding of God's ways has grown. I don't consider myself to be a strongly-opinionated individual. There are many times during my life when I have been easily swayed, though I usually ended up in the right place when all was said and done. It is, all too often, very difficult to distinguish between a change in position that was merited by deep study and evaluation of facts, and a change in position as a result of abandonment of basic tenets. How can a person remain flexible and responsive to reality, yet avoid the mistakes that result from weakness of mind and heart? Following the ideas in John 17:15-16, how do we as Christians remain in the world, but not of the world?
I grew up in a mostly-Christian community in a small valley in western Oregon. I saw quite a few individuals, both young and old, who were staunch, conservative Christians. They firmly believed in the Bible as God's Word, and they believed (generally) in The Golden Rule. The Bible was taken very literally, and the selection of words in a Bible verse were believed to be indicative of God's often subtle communication with us. When differences of opinion arose between individuals, in my family or in my community, the solution was often to dig into the Bible to find evidence corroborating a person's argument. The person with the best corroborating evidence was deemed to be the "winner". In the background, however, I was an avid reader of anything scientific, and I encountered many a treatise that discussed Earth's history as it appears to have been 10,000, 100,000, or 1,000,000 years ago. I was aware of some of the arguments surrounding evolution, and I truly did not doubt that pre-historic creatures such as mastodons and brontosaurus had roamed the earth 20,000 or 20 million years ago, even though there was no obvious reference to such creatures in the Bible, and even though the Creation could conceivably be placed in 4004 B.C. by information provided in the book of Genesis.
Growing... and Bending
After graduating from high school I went to Westmont College in Santa Barbara, California. This was a vibrant Christian college with approximately 1000 students. Here I found 999 other students who (mostly) agreed with me on issues of Christian doctrine, and I found professors who incorporated God into physics and mathematics lessons. Somewhat to my dismay, however, some of my religious studies professors presented ideas that actually ran counter to my established belief system. My idea of the Bible as God's perfect, inspired Word was challenged when I was told that some of the stories in the Gospels might not represent historic events, but rather stories that the author told to make a point. I learned that our Bible is the result of choices that people made when reviewing multiple ancient manuscripts, which may have differed from each other by the presence or absence of words, sentences, or paragraphs. I came to realize that my definition of perfection was frequently in contrast to God's definition, so I eventually concluded that it is perfect which completely satisfies the intentions of its creator. The Bible wasn't written to satisfy my expectations, but rather to satisfy my needs. I learned that the Gospels Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John borrowed from each other, and likely borrowed from other documents that never made it into the Bible. A professor pointed out that the Gospels are not entirely chronological, though they are basically organized in that way. I was also distressed by one professor's scholarly treatment of the Tribulation, which is supposedly the last several years of life on Earth as we know it. Instead of a declaration that Christians would be spared the time of Tribulation (by being Raptured before the event began) this professor explained that there were other points of view besides what he called Pre-Tribulation. The other points of view suggest that Christians will be taken miraculously out of this world in the middle of the Tribulation (Mid-Tribulation), or that Christians will need to endure the entire devastation predicted in Bible prophecy, and will finally be taken up to Heaven at the end of the Great Tribulation (Post-Tribulation). I was stunned to learn that these other perspectives existed, and that my own Pre-Tribulation belief, though very nice to think about, might be quite mistaken.
During my third year at Westmont I noticed that two men on my floor in the dormitory began getting up early each morning to pray together. I joined them. Soon we were joined by several others from our floor. Then people from other floors in the dormitory began coming, and our group became quite large. We had some very eloquent prayer "warriors" in this group, and I discovered that many people were intimidated by such eloquent prayers, and so there would often be silence for an extended period after one of our "warriors" finished praying. Since I have never been a great speaker, I took it upon myself to pray in my halting, unpolished style whenever such a situation arose, and almost invariably the ice was broken, and others would begin praying as well, because no one was initimidated any longer after hearing me pray. Ultimately, individuals from other dormitories came to join until there was not room enough in our meeting area for all of those who wanted to be there. Then a few people split off to form their own prayer group on another floor of the dormitory, and those from other dormitories returned to begin prayer groups of their own. On a supposedly vibrant Christian College campus I witnessed a revival of commitment to worshipping and praying to Jesus that clearly impacted the entire campus for the remainder of my time at Westmont.
By the time I left Westmont I was a well-developed Christian, with a solid understanding of the Bible, and a well-cultivated spiritual life. I took the Bible fairly, but not completely, literally. I realized that I have a special talent to see and understand other people, to empathize with them. This ability is indeed good, but it cuts both ways. Before leaving Westmont I had only seen one edge of this double-edged sword, but that was about to change.
Daily Exercises: Stretching
I finished my bachelor's degree at Stanford. Actually, because of a collaboration between Westmont and Stanford I also picked up my degree from Westmont upon completion of my education at Stanford. While at Stanford I encountered an environment completely new to me. Students, and faculty, had an anti-Christian bias. The pervasive philosophy seemed to be that no one with exceptional intelligence could justify a belief in the Judeo-Christian God. Agreed, it was difficult or impossible to disprove the existence of God, and perhaps there existed some god-like being, but whoever or whatever that might be, one needn't bother looking in the Bible for clues or help in understanding it. Fortunately, and many thanks to a friend of mine who had transferred from Westmont to Stanford one year ahead of me, I hooked up with a Christian fellowship group, a branch of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship (IVCF). One of the huge discoveries I made shortly after my arrival at Stanford is that the world consists of lots of average people, a number of grades of very smart individuals, of which I was one, and a remarkable class of what I will call brilliant minds. Being around not one, not two, but many brilliant individuals is a sobering and awesome experience. What I observed about IVCF was that this group had its fair share of brilliant individuals, which was certainly comforting, as I was very intimidated being at odds with intellectual giants on issues, even issues of faith. Nonetheless, I heard many new arguments against my beliefs while attending Stanford, and I did not know how to deal with these new attacks. So I stretched a little, opening up still more to ideas that were very different from the ideas with which I had been brought up.
My first job out of college was only some 20 miles or so from Stanford, so I maintained some of my Stanford friendships, and even continued to attend the same church that I attended while in college. This church, Peninsula Bible Church, or PBC, was an excellent teaching church. The pastoral staff was well-trained in detailed study of the Bible and its messages, so I continued to keep at least one foot in solid Christian teaching similar to that which I had grown up with. But in the workplace I found that there were few Christians, and a great many people who believed in "a" god. The fact that there were many people who could and would talk about "god" made it very easy to slip into generalizations about god. But I learned quickly that mention of Jesus was not nearly so welcome as mention of god. As I mentioned earlier, I am a very empathetic individual, so I was able to understand my co-workers, and I met them on their own ground. And I met them often on their ground, which made me, slowly, increasingly comfortable with their perspectives as I stretched still more. I had always had a clear notion of who would, and wouldn't, make it into Heaven. Christians would be there, or at least some of them, as many who call themselves by Christ's name are not those whom He would call. Non-Christians would not be in Heaven, an idea made very clear by a number of key verses in the New Testament. But my firm notion of who would and woudn't make it began to stretch. How could I be so arrogant as to believe that I am right and most of the world is wrong? What about those people living today and those who lived thousands of years ago who never heard about Jesus? Do I really believe that all of these people are going to Hell?
As the years passed by I met more and more people who were very good and ethical individuals. Their beliefs and convictions and daily lives could in many cases put most Christians to shame. Their arguments against Christianity, or against belief in the Judeo-Christian God, all had merit. In many cases these were individuals whom I greatly admired. God loves each and every person whom He has created, so I wondered if He had plans and patterns that are unfamiliar to me, but nevertheless allow these individuals to enjoy Him forever. I remained convinced about my own salvation, but I lost conviction in my belief that these others would not receive that same salvation. During lunch conversations I heard people who identified themselves as Christians, but who also stated that the essence of all religions is the same. Most major religions teach ideals such as showing kindness to others, living within one's means, and so forth. Even when I determined to make objection to such remarks that all religions are basically the same I hesitated, again out of concern that I might be, or be perceived as being, arrogant. In the end, how do I know? I continued stretching.
Recovery Program
Amidst my growing uncertainty I grasped something that I knew to be true: Neither I nor any other normal human being can finally decide who is saved and who isn't. Jesus, however, is the final and ultimate judge of who gets into Heaven and who does not. Many will disagree with that statement, but that statement is something that I can believe in and fight for. I can intelligently speculate on who will, or will not, make it, but thanks be to God that neither you nor I will sit as judge over anyone else. I don't know for certain on what basis Jesus makes His decisions (the Bible certainly gives guidelines here), but I am very confident that His decisions are the best possible. I don't need to be concerned that someone in darkest Africa may have died without ever hearing about Jesus. That is between that person and Jesus, and Jesus loves that person more than anyone else ever could. Our God is a just God, and loving and merciful on top of that. I'm convinced that when you get to heaven you can expect to receive two surprises. First, you'll be very surprised by the presence of certain people who you did not expect to be there. Second, you'll be very surprised by the absence of certain others. If you only get one surprise after you die... well, I've got some bad news for you!
On a few occasions my job required that I travel from Silicon Valley to Houston, Texas, and later to Austin, Texas. In both cases I came to know the employees at these Texas locations fairly well. Many of these people spoke about God, which is not necessarily different from what I found in Silicon Valley, but the big difference in Texas was that these people spoke of Jesus, without inhibition. It was natural to them just as it was natural for me many years ago. I felt very much at home, nearly 2000 miles from where I had spent the majority of my life. I was jolted by this comfort that stood in stark contrast to my everyday experience in Silicon Valley. And it felt ever so peaceful.
Then I returned home, and I was once again in the middle of a culture to which I thought I had adapted, but in which I could never again feel quite comfortable. Finally, I recognized just what sort of predicament I was in. Hello. My name is Steve, and I have a problem. I'm an Elastic Christian. I was always trying to be reasonable about what I believe, always striving to be open-minded, striving to place arrogance as far from me as possible, always empathizing with those around me, trying to understand everyone, and to like and be liked by everyone. I had espoused some good Christian values, and even used spiritual gifts in my relationships with others, but I was conformed to the world around me. We need to embrace the people around us, but how can we do that without also embracing their "god"?
A few years passed, and I finally picked up a book that had lain unread on my bookshelf for 15 or 20 years, Pilgrim's Progress. If you are familiar with the book, you know that it was written over 200 years ago, in language similar to King James English. Thankfully, the first church that I remember attending used King James English as a common mode of communication, in prayer, during sermons, and occasionally during normal conversation. So I, more than most of you, could understand the flow of the story of Pilgrim on his journey to the Wicket Gate and beyond. To my surprise, Pilgrim encountered several hundred years ago an environment remarkably similar to my own. And the philosophy espoused by the author matched the philosophy that I had grown up with, and which had been nurtured at Westmont College, and later in IVCF and at PBC. It was extremely simple to identify with Pilgrim, and the account of his journeys once again alerted me to my predicament. Pilgrim couldn't afford to be an Elastic Christian, as his journey took him past the bones of many earlier pilgrims who had been just that. Hello. My name is Steve, and I have a problem. I'm an Elastic Christian.
Many readers might look at my background and training, and wonder how a person who grew up in a stable Christian family and community, who attended such a fine Christian institution of higher learning, and who had such fine continuing Christian support in IVCF and PBC could become an Elastic Christian. Indeed, it was probably those resources that saved me. Elasticity is caused by several factors. Not knowing why you believe what you do is one. Listening to too many voices of "reason" is another. In my case, it is mostly the latter. And why is this such a problem? Because reason, as we so often imperfectly use it, hides much of who God really is, and a great deal of what we truly are. Reason in the end is a tool that we use to justify who we are and what we do. But there is no justification for these things, save God's forgiveness and Jesus' death on our behalf. God is kind, and loving, and merciful. But He is also perfect, just, and wrathful. Our common, reasonable concept of good and perfect easily forgets those components of good and perfect that are unpleasant to us because they invalidate our reasoned arguments of self-justification. When I distance myself from God, or do not aggressively pursue my relationship with Him, it is easy to forget His attributes that I do not find "pleasant". It is easy to forget that even my best efforts to please Him are unsatisfactory. It is easy to forget from whence I come. It is easy to ignore the fact that I can only come to Him because of His great mercy and kindness, and that His mercy and kindness are not given lightly. It is easy to forget that His love that so binds me to Him is only understood in light of the depths to which He reached to rescue me. Ultimately, I must aggressively pursue my God so that I can never forget my weaknesses. Hello. My name is Steve, and I have a problem. I'm an Elastic Christian.
Yes, I am an Elastic Christian. And I am forgiven, in spite of who and what I am. I will not, cannot, use reason alone to justify who or what I am. I will not forget what Jesus did and is doing for me. In my pursuit of my God I will strive to understand Him correctly, to correct my misconceptions of who He is and what He does. But flexible response to what I learn must not allow me to be swayed by the reasoning of those who do not know their own state of being, and who have no appreciation of God's mercy towards them. No one can know the right direction to travel unless they know where they are traveling from and where they are traveling to. I know both, and I will manage my journey by setting my face toward the destination while never forgetting my origin.